​Sandra Bullock Smith
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...there is no present like the time....
...there is no time like the present...

Sandra bullock smith

Hug For The Health of It!

12/22/2015

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​Did you know hugging has health benefits?  My sisters and I recently visited my mother’s family in Georgia. We have a big, extended  family and we all like each other. We hug each other to say “hello,” “goodbye,” “good morning,” “that cornbread was awesome,” and for almost anything else you can think of.  That’s the way it’s been with our family for as long as I can remember.  If you are averse to hugging, this is not the family to hang out with. Hugging makes me feel good.  It makes me feel loved. I didn't know it has proven health benefits, though.
 
The simple definition of hug is “to put your arms around someone especially as a way of showing love or friendship.” Love and friendship translate into strong social relationships.  Psychology Today reports that having strong social relationships predicts a 50% increased chance of longevity. So the way I see it, it’s like the formula we learned in school. If A = B and B=C then A=C.  In other words, if hugs (A) equal stronger social relationships (B), and stronger social relationships (B) equal an increased chance of longevity (C), then hugs equal increased chance of longevity. I’m good with that!
 
The Psychology Today study goes on to say it is not just the strength of our relationships that predict longevity, but the attitude with which we engage in those relationships.  Research shows that the greatest benefits for longevity and well-being come from sharing our love with others, not receiving it.
 
A study by University of North Carolina researchers found that hugs increase the "bonding" hormone oxytocin and decrease the risk of heart disease. "Scientists are increasingly interested in the possibility that positive emotions can be good for your health. This study has reinforced research findings that a hug from a loved one can have beneficial effects on heart health," the study reports.
 
From birth until we take our last breath, we need hugs.  A simple, heartfelt embrace has positive psychological and physical effects. It has been known for years that people who receive hugs and cuddles from their spouses, children or even their pets live longer and recover from illness faster.  When caring for my mother, I discovered that even hugging a stuffed animal had positive effects.
 
The most obvious benefits of hugging don't require a scientific study. Hugs make us feel loved, safe and secure. They boost our self-esteem, and keep us connected to the world around us. Give those you love all the affection and hugs you can.  It can’t hurt and it may bring a bounty of health benefits. 
 
Have you hugged someone today? Hug someone for the health of it!
 
 
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Comfort Zone vs. Capability Zone

11/30/2015

 
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​What is comforting about a comfort zone?  The familiarity of your comfort zone insulates you from a lot of stress and risk.  Yet personal growth doesn’t happen without discomfort.  Personal growth moves you to discover your capabilities. When was the last time you did something for the first time? When was the last time you detoured purposely from your comfort zone?

A few years ago, I was crewing for the Hardrock Hundred, a 100 mile endurance race that runs through Telluride, Ouray and Silverton, Colorado. It’s an extremely challenging race, run through remote and wild terrain.  Additionally, it has almost 34,000 feet of climb and 34,000 feet of descent with an average elevation of 11,186 feet.  It is one tough race.  As I was helping my ultrarunning friend, Beth Simpson-Hall at the Telluride Aid Station, she looked at me and said, “This is so out of my comfort zone.”   I didn’t pause with my reply, “This may be out of your comfort zone, but it is not out of your capability zone.”  She told me later how meaningful that exchange was to her as she continued on in her role as a pacer for another runner.

Can you define your comfort zone?  Probably.  Can you define your capability zone?  Most of us cannot because we haven’t explored it. Why? Because it’s out of our comfort zone. I think we miss a lot of growth opportunities life has to offer because of that.

While I favor adrenaline-related challenges, other challenges take you out of your comfort zone. Caring for my mother as she aged was a major departure from my comfort zone.  It was emotionally, intellectually and physically challenging. There was no easy day. Yet, I grew from that experience and found capabilities I didn’t know I had.

Your comfort zone is not a good or bad place. It’s just a natural state we gravitate toward. But by pushing your boundaries, you’ll find it easier to explore and try new things.  Even small steps outside of your routine will help you gain new perspectives. Don’t eat the same thing at your favorite restaurant, take that class you always wished you had time for, make a bucket list and start working on it.  Dream it, plan it, do it. Then come back to your comfort zone for a brief rest.  It’s a great place to rest, not to reside.

So, when is the next time you are going to do something for the first time?

​
click here to purchase my new book

I cared enough to risk it...

11/23/2015

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For several years I have been working on a book about caring for my mother during the last ten years of her life. For most of that time, the manuscript lay dormant in a file on my PC. I was afraid to finish it. What if no one liked it?  Even worse, what if someone disliked it? Publishing a book which contained stories that were so real and raw for me was scary. Like naked-in-public scary. But then after a particularly challenging day with Mom, I decided that my stories and the lessons contained therein could help others in a caregiving role.  In fact, some of the life lessons were applicable to a much broader audience. So I took a leap of faith.  I finished the book.  I published it.  It hit the airwaves via Amazon.com this week.  It's called Trading Places: Becoming My Mother's Mother - A Daughter's Memoir.

So was it easy?  No.  I felt like I had opened a portal into my life that left me exposed.  But I cared enough to risk it.  My friend Chuck Boudreau told me. "You have dared greatly."

 Chuck also told me, "Sandra, what you have done is remarkable. You’ve actually made the effort to coalesce your best thinking into something meant to speak to people who are on their own journey with caring for an elderly parent. The compassion and well-meaning good intentions behind your writing is so incredibly rare and very, very special. You need to know that. Really. It takes courage to do this kind of work. Sometimes we don’t know exactly how much courage until we start getting  negative feedback. Somehow, it seems to speak to our deepest doubt regarding the significance of our story and what we have to offer. Dismiss this voice of diminishment."

Those were words I needed to hear.  What are the words you need to hear to take your leap of faith? What do you dare to accomplish "if only..."?  Care enough to dare greatly. Take your leap.
MY BOOK: AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM CLICK HERE
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    Welcome to my journey. I believe "caring" can be your most effective skill in tackling the challenges in life.  Whether you are striving to achieve a goal, trying to complete a mundane task, or actually providing care for an individual, CARING gives you the focus to succeed.

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